I'm Your Buddy
A film and TV podcast hosted by best friends, Nick and William. Join us weekly as we watch imperfect but excellent works and discuss storytelling, friendship, and, in our current season, the film and tv scripts of Alex Garland!
I'm Your Buddy
Episode 234: Push It Out Of Your Mind
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This week we watch Attack On Titan S1E20 "Erwin Smith/ The 57th Expedition, Part 4" S1E21 "Iron Hammer/ The 57th Expedition, Part 5" and S1E22 "The Defeated/ The 57th Expedition, Part 6". We discuss our health, feeling disconnected from the characters, and a new podcast segment.
Hello and welcome to season 11 of I'm Your Buddy with Nick and William, a podcast where two best friends are watching and discussing the anime Attack on Titan. I'm William, who's never seen the show.
SPEAKER_00And I'm Nick, who has also never seen the show.
SPEAKER_02And today we're going to talk about episode 20, Erwin Smith slash the 57th Expedition Part 4. Episode 21, Iron Hammer Slash the 57th Expedition Part 5. And Episode 22, The Defeated Slash The 57th Expedition Part 6.
SPEAKER_00Indeed. Yeah. For the listener, I used to be amused by the titles, and now when I'm hearing them back, it just makes me annoyed. Uh but hey, we'll we'll get into that a little bit later.
SPEAKER_02Erwin Smith, I don't love. Iron Hammer's kind of cool. The defeated, I'm fine with. These are fine. Sure. Erwin Smith, I was like, wait, who? I know, yeah. It's like, oh yeah, the blonde guy. The commander, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00Um it's been we It's been a while. We since I last saw you. Brain of Wire. We skipped a week.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because William's been a busy boy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And um and you couldn't be bothered with this show. Well, yeah, Dave had texted us, he's like, uh, maybe I'm not gonna watch the show or something like that. I can't remember. Yeah. And then yes, I was not I was not having a good time. Uh, but hey, season one. We'll we'll talk more about it. Uh especially as the next episode of the podcast, next week's episode will be the season one finale of of the show. So we'll we'll we'll see how it evolves. But how has it been the past two weeks or 10 days? I don't know. When's the last time I saw you?
SPEAKER_03Last time I recorded, so probably a week. Yeah two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02No, it's uh it's okay. Uh yeah, I was out of town. I went to my grandma and grandpa's on my mother's side 70th wedding anniversary.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and but uh when I was telling Kira, I was like, I'm I think it's 60th or something like that. 70 is nuts. Insane. Yeah, so they were married when they were 10 years old. 18 and 16. In old Mexico. Yeah, that's wild.
SPEAKER_02Fucking crazy. 70. It's it's one of the it's one of the many things I thought of when I was on this trip is that's a milestone. I'm never I'm never gonna have that experience.
SPEAKER_00So few people do. Yeah, not even. Yeah, even people who have been married for 50 years will not get to 70 years. Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, for both of them to still be alive and kicking and to hit that milestone, that's extremely rare.
SPEAKER_02My uncle, my grandpa's 88 right now. Wow, 70 years he's been married to one woman. Yeah, poor guy. No, I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, sad, poor, poor bastard. R. I p.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Whatever boomer, insert boomer joke.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, it was uh yeah, I drove six-hour drive, did that Friday, came back Sunday. The big party event thing was on the Saturday. It was cool. I I saw a lot of family on my mom's side. A lot, a lot, a lot. I forgot the number. They said it during the um officiating because they redid like their vows and gave rings again type of thing. Okay. But the amount of grandkids, great-grandkids, and great-great-grandkids is oh yeah, staggering. Yeah, it's crazy. It wasn't everybody, everybody couldn't make it, but we probably had like 70, 80 people there. Wow. Yeah, it was really cool. We did uh mariachis, we did the folklorical dancers, they did their uh their vows and their rings, we had food, just to hang. Nice. It was cool.
SPEAKER_00It saw like a family reunion of types.
SPEAKER_02Essentially, yeah. We and I think that was part of it, is we tried to treat it as such, because like I said, 70 is a big one. He's eighty-eight. Yeah, we're not getting the 75 or 80, probably. So that we were trying to treat it as such. Yeah. Saw uh my cousin Jonathan. Yes. Uh, outside of my brother Sean, probably my family member I love the most.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, friend of the pod, even though he's never been on, but yeah, I love him so much.
SPEAKER_02Saw him and his wife Lavana. They used to live here. Me and my ex were really close with them. We used to hang out all the time. Um really cool. It was really cool to see him. Looks good. They moved to Montana. Yeah, he's like that Yellowstone life. Yeah. Yeah. They're loving it. They love the outdoors and the quiet. The it's a little bigger city than their last one. So that was cool. And then I met a few cousins I've never met in person ever from Chihuahua. They were they were able to make it down. Nice. That was cool. It was interesting. Uh like four of them.
SPEAKER_00I've just never met that's crazy. New meeting new family members at your age, yeah. Yeah, uh that are children.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, one of them was 40. Oh, wow. So they are in my age range. Yeah, it was cool. Nice. Yeah. For circumstances. We've never been able to meet them and their family to that extent. So yeah, it was it was a fun time. It was a lot of fun, really cool, a lot of hanging around, family, kids, this and that, a lot of different feelings, a lot of some stress, some drama. There's no way not to throw an 80 person family party. Oh, yeah. And there not be some drama. Yeah, it's impossible.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you always got some aunt or uncle getting sloshed who has some.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there's always some weird family dynamic of who brought them or why didn't I get to do this, or yeah. There's always something like that.
SPEAKER_00But it was cool. The forgotten metal child, yeah, which you know nothing about.
SPEAKER_02Nope. But yeah, it was uh it was fun. And my brother Sean and his whole family got to go up.
SPEAKER_03That's cool.
SPEAKER_02And that was cool. They're not uh they've only been up there maybe once.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So a few of his kids haven't met any of those family members, so that was fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, cool for them to meet great grandparents, exactly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. At their age. And them not being uh Mexican at all to see that end of the culture that they're kind of a part of.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_02Was very different for them. So that was fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, your sister-in-law is going up to your dad and being like, Hey, yeah. Yeah, you and me both partner.
SPEAKER_02There's a few outsiders that are in and they're almost all exclusively white, and they just you gotta respectfully be like, No, it's cool. I like how loud it is right now. It's very fun.
SPEAKER_03That's awesome.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the colors, it's bright and loud, and I don't have any judgment, no opinion.
SPEAKER_00I just see old Bill like seeing Sean's wife and just being like, Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, don't talk to me. This is like, I don't want to relate to your whiteness or something like that. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm I'm in. You're outside.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I've been around for longer than you were.
SPEAKER_02And I can't bring you in. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03He's calling her Mia and shit.
SPEAKER_02That'd be amazing. Uh that's one thing is my Spanish is rusty. Oh god. I gotta step it up. I know, I was gonna ask, like, how were you dragging?
SPEAKER_00Exhausting. Yeah, just trying to put it together.
SPEAKER_02Uh the understanding is a little easier the more you do it, the more you're hearing. But the speaking is really tough because I also, if I ever s speak Spanish, I'm lazy and I don't want to use the accent ever. See, but then when you're around family, you kind of should, you know, respectfully.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Try to be inflection at least.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and then that's where I'm tripping up, and I'm just like, God damn it, dude, this is hard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, no, it was it was tough.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It it's a different muscle. And then uh lots of cats, lots of outside cats, which was awesome.
SPEAKER_00Got those.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Both sides of my grandma's house, both neighbors on each side had different cats. Nice. And I was sitting outside by myself petting cats. And it was funny, she uh came up to me and she was like, uh I was in the backyard with like a kitten, like a real little one, and then the but there was like a bigger, like a male cat came by and she was talking about the male one. She's like, all in Spanish, she was like, Yeah, that one's illegal. And I was like, What do you mean? She goes, They brought them from Mexico and somehow no one knows. And she's like, Don't call on them. And she just kept making jokes. We're gonna deport the cat because the cat's from Mexico. That's amazing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it was very fun.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that hey, people are inside having a good time, and being outside petting cats outside of the park sounds exactly like my kind of get together. I fucking love that. That was that was the highlight.
SPEAKER_03Hell yeah. It's like, oh shit, straight cat said I can bet. Yep, I love this. Nothing better. Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_02But it was uh yeah, it was it was a good time. We have a is where who'd you stay with? We uh I just stayed in a hotel because the cousins from Chihuahua stayed with my grandma. Okay. So the house was packed up, so we got a hotel, and then yeah, Sean's kids are loud and rambunctious, which is a lot of energy. Which is cool. Yeah, it's three boys, yeah. So yeah, I did I did uh that was my weekend. Other than that, I finished building my second Gunda model, which I sh I think I I sent you a picture, right? Yeah, it's okay.
SPEAKER_00It's sick, it looks like a red Mega Man X, which I never played that game, or maybe I did play Mega Man X actually, but I was never a big fan of the games, but I love that character. The fucking cartridge that came on at Jeff's house. So fucking cool. I've never played it. It's really long hair, blonde ponytail, just fucking red and oh yeah, I've seen yeah, I've seen the image.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, that's what it reminded me of.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, it it was uh it's a cool looking one, it's fun, and I'm starting to really connect with it. It's a funny thing of like it is very helps me decompress, it's very relaxing. It's I have shaky hands, so like to do really small details. This one had a lot of stickers, like decals. Yep, and they're thin, like just a gold line, yeah, and like little, and I have to do that with my shaky hands to like kind of lock in. Yeah, and yeah, I'm um, I I like it a lot, it does help my brain just like singular focus one thing at a time. You don't even know how it connects to the larger piece until like 12 steps later, you're like, Oh, I'm building the shoulder. I didn't even know I was building the shoulder. Yeah, because I'm it's in Japanese, so I'm going by numbers and letters, and that's it.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_02So I don't know what I'm building until I get there. Yeah. And it is very funny to me being new to this, is how many pieces, and then you put together you're like, that could have been one piece. Like the rifle is like eight different pieces. The scope is three full pieces. I was like, the scope could have been one.
SPEAKER_00But that's part of the fun. But that's maybe that's exactly what I was thinking.
SPEAKER_02Is like that's the cool part of this, is like all of these little pieces clicking in. I was like, no, this is cool.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it adds to the satisfaction of the hobby or something. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, it was cool. I did that, and I'm uh while I was doing that, I I binge watched the bear. Ooh. And I'm on season three right now. I think there's four or five. Asking the wrong. I forget. But um, I'm like halfway through, and yeah, I I really like that show. I really, really like it. This is uh probably my least favorite season. This is where some of the jokes with the Fach Brothers and the Oh, yeah, when Cena comes in on the cameos. Yeah, it's just too much, you don't need it. Yeah, but I I I really do like the show, and I like the more I'm watching it, a show about purpose and also the idea of just because you're good at something doesn't guarantee it brings you peace and satisfaction in life. Like just that concept is so fascinating to have a show about and a character about.
SPEAKER_00Why are you personally insulting me in my own home, William?
SPEAKER_02Well, that but it it speaks to I think a lot of people. Oh yeah. But for him to to come to those realizations, for Richie to need purpose and find it where he didn't think he would, and then for Carmy to go to where he thinks his purpose is, but it's actually not, yeah. And both people coming to terms with that is beautiful, very fun to watch, very cathartic. Um, they talk a lot, which uh the second time watching it, how much of a like film guy Richie is, like his password's a Michael Mann reference. Oh, and he talks about like Miami Vice, and he talks about William Friedkin going to Japan to see the Zen Garden. Yes, I remember and that idea of you just see these rocks and they're so isolated, and then that's people, and then Richie coming to the terms of I'm not the rocks on the sand. Yeah, the thing that connects these people. I was like, that's beautiful, man. I'm so happy to watch again. This speaks to my soul, watching white trash guys like hit an emotional resonance like that. Yep, you know what I mean? Like that is that's so a thing I love.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, it's it's been a lot of fun. Another thing I did is at work, a separate department, customer service and group admin did a project for my department. I'm not in charge of anything, the department I'm in, they helped us with a pretty big project, and it took like two months of like data entry type stuff for them to finish. So I got them like an Amazon gift card and then a thank you card. And I wrote a hand wrote personal, like personalized to each person in the department a thank you. Wow. And so I took time to think of like something specific to each person. It is instead of just saying, Hey, thank you for the thing, I tried to like this one's only for you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's it's personalized.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. So I did that while watching the bear as well before I left. And I gave them to I gave those to them. Very thoughtful, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Trying to help where I can. That you know, you know, you being personally thoughtful is actually a good segue, not into speaking about myself, but into establishing a new segment that I want for the podcast, which we'd set up a promise a couple episodes ago of Nick needs to ask William a question about himself that doesn't pertain to Nick necessarily, right? Then it's not about our relationship or anything like that. So I was thinking today, I gotta come up with a question to ask William. I'm like, you know what? We should make this a weekly thing. This should be part of the podcast, and it's just a little segment that is Nick asking William a fucking dumb question that doesn't revolve around Nick. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Is this the question you thought of last episode?
SPEAKER_00No, because I forgot about that. I figured it was two weeks ago. And I thought you write it down. I swore I I asked you a question that came to my mind too. But I I was literally trying to think about I was like, no, and I'm just gonna come up with like a fucking dumb question that has nothing to do with me. And so you can ask me anything, Nicholas. This week's is kind of a softball, I think, and that is a pun intended because I want to know if you were a major league baseball player, what would your walkout song be? As a batter. You're walking up to the mound, every player who bats has one of their songs, even from the minor leagues up to the majors. You get to choose, you know, it's basically like 10 to 15 seconds of a song. What would yours be? Dang, that's a it's a tough one. I'm putting it on the spot. That's a fun one. You can think about it if you want to.
SPEAKER_02I think I have it. Okay, okay. Let me find the name so I say it correctly. Sure. Okay, so I think the first song that came to my head, and I think I've talked about this with Sean. What would your UFC walkout music? But that's different. That's I'm about to fight somebody else. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this is just announcing you're in the lineup. Yeah, you hear this to get pumped up right before your face in the picture, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And this I I like baseball, but this doesn't have anything to do with me. Okay. No, that's that's that's fine.
SPEAKER_02I like that.
SPEAKER_00And I'm not answering these questions. Okay. Okay. I wonder if that's a good question. It's not coming. Yeah, because this isn't.
SPEAKER_02So you're not asking me, so you can you're waiting to give your answer. Correct. And because I don't know my answer. I think this is this is my answer. I'm gonna play it real quick just to give the effect. Sure. Yes. Yes, that'd be a fun one. Pattern against user at the drive-in. That's a good open.
SPEAKER_00Such a great pick. That's a fucking killer. Just having those drones kick it off and then they can't. That makes people fucking wake up in the stands. Ooh, yeah, that's a fucking killer pick. Yeah, that's a cool one. I love that. I would do that. Makes sense. Very William. Yeah. You have at the drive-in. Uh, we were talking about you and your uh family from Mexico, right? Yeah, El Paso, El Paso. El Paso. Um, but also that those drums. I know that's one of your favorite drum openings to any song ever. He's one of my favorite drummers. Yes. Yeah. So yeah, that very William pick. Very fucking good pick. That'd be cool, right? Yeah, someone needs to fucking get on. That's good energy. Yeah, that's killer energy to to start you up at bat. Okay, good. All right. Well, that concludes this week's Nick asking William a question that doesn't have anything to do with Nick.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh, but I want to make this a regular, a regular thing just so we can learn more about William. So I can learn William. Because we it's a it is kind of a weird thing. We've known each other for two fucking decades or whatever. Yeah. Over two decades now. You know, you it it's not it's relationships don't necessarily go in autopilot, but you don't ask random shit anymore. Because we're not kids, we don't sit around and talk about stuff and we talk about similar shit all the time and dealing with the podcasts and stuff going on with our lives, but like random shit like that, I would never know. Right?
SPEAKER_02No, I get it. It's yeah, the the conversations change over time. Now that we're best friends, it's more shorthand or it's more do you see this? What do you think of this? Yeah, exactly. So yeah. No, I I love that. I love that. I love this. I love you. Love you too. We're done. All right, we'll talk to you guys next week. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00You don't have to talk about this show. Uh how have you been in these two weeks? Uh yeah, I've yeah, I've been okay, actually. I've been a little down and struggling with I think last time I talked about being really upset at work and really fucking mad about stuff. Yeah. You know, that kind of stuff. And that's that's getting to you. Which, you know, is has more to do with me than than work necessarily. Especially because I I do enjoy my job. I'm not a fucking brain surgeon. I'm working in the education field, which I enjoy. And like the things, the problems that I have are like everybody has fucking problems at their job with these similar types of things. Yes. Communication, leadership, etc. Right. So lazy people getting away with being lazy people. Exactly. Working with dumb fucks. Yeah. Everybody has to deal with that, right? So but it's made me kind of realize like, oh yeah, I gotta, I gotta figure out why I'm having this kind of emotional, this heavy of an emotional response, you know. So I've been kind of I only have only had one therapy session in the past month. So I'm starting to dive into that and I'm I'm starting to level out a little bit, which is good. Good. So you know, and I was just feeling disconnected and just you know how you go inside and you're just not reaching out to people, and it's yeah, it's just kind of annoying. But I I I I've in addition to trying to figure out why such a strong emotional response is coming from this specific situation at work, I also kind of realized like, oh yeah, I'm not really I'm in a I've been in a weird gray area with writing and with the comic book project. And I haven't been writing a lot, I haven't been consuming a lot of stories, even though I I actually have been listening to you know the Dungeon Crawler Carl series, which is fucking great still. I'm on book six, maybe or something like that, which is such a lovely uh ongoing narrative. It's so nice to listen to a fucking narrative, you know, every day with an audiobook, that kind of thing. But like I'm not reading many comics, I have to plan the rest of the series of Redeemer, you know, in the next couple months that's the plan, and I need to get down and and start doing some structural stuff, and I realize like, oh yeah, when when I'm not actually creating stuff, it is not good for my brain.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it kind of depresses me. And and I've been in this kind of waiting period, you know, waiting for some of the merchandise to come in to fulfill the Kickstarter, that kind of stuff. And I've been sitting on some stickers and books. I just got some shirts from Mikey and some of the prints. I still have those to pick up, but I was waiting for all this stuff to come in so I can ship it all at once. And I'm like, you know, fuck that. I gotta make a little bit of progress. So today, after I went to some doctor's appointment, which I'm also gonna talk about, I took Which uh they only took like an hour and a half, and I took the entire morning off. Nice.
SPEAKER_02And good, smart.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I was like, because I didn't know how long it was gonna go. Kira had work in the morning, Leo goes to school in the mornings. I was like, you know what? I was planning on I could just go to the library and or Starbucks, you know, get on my computer and maybe try to start hashing out some of this writing stuff. But I was like, you know what? I want to get some of the Redeemer fulfillment out of the way. So I went home, put on some fucking YouTube, watched some podcasts, some interviews, and put on some white cotton gloves and fucking bagged and boarded a hundred copies of Redeemer. Nice and put 50 of them into their mailers just to get them ready. And I and this weekend I can print off the labels and ship them off. So it's like very nice, productive zone out, just actually get some stuff done. Because it it is genuinely difficult to get stuff done when you got a little kid running around who needs attention and you know someone's gotta watch him at all times. So it's just like he's off doing his own thing, learning. Kara's off at work. I can just focus on this kind of mundane task, but it felt good. I was like, the fucking book looks great in a bag and board, and it looks very satisfying in a little mailer. I gotta put stickers on him and little stamp and stuff. It's gonna it's just like tickling my design itch a little bit. So that was very good. And I was like, wow, this is that feels fucking great. Now I'm getting a task out of the way because there's always there's I have too much shit to do at all fucking times, and it's just driving me insane. Yeah. And it stresses me the fuck out. Which also ties into the medical appointment thing today, which I a couple weeks ago I woke up at four in the morning and had like this crazy fucking pain under my right ribs, which I realized after the fact high or low, like on your ribs, high under my ribs. Okay, or like I don't uh yeah, so like not under my pectoral muscle, underneath my body.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say near your titty.
SPEAKER_00Underneath not your belly, not directly under the titty, but on the side. And so which always points to liver and or gallbladder issues. Or AIDS. So or super gays. Yeah. It literally was like four in the morning, just wake up, horrible shooting fucking pain. And of course I've had stomach pain in the past, you know. Uh we've talked about our gastrointestinal problems uh on this podcast as well. But this time I was like, I think I'm dying. And shitting is not making any difference. So I literally call 911 and I'm on the turlet. Literally, I'm like, because I'm broken.
SPEAKER_03Oh, hold on.
SPEAKER_02I'm I I might have missed something. You have uh you have a pain in your upper rib cage. Yes. And you have horrible diarrhea.
SPEAKER_00No, I don't. I uh because I'm like, oh, maybe it is it is some kind of stomach thing. But I go to the turlet and it doesn't do anything.
SPEAKER_03But normal. Business as usual toilet style pain's still there. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00And some could say they're not correlated. Exactly. Well, that's why I'm like, I know my stomach. And if my stomach's fucked up, uh I can do something about it, and then it goes away, right? So yeah, I knew it wasn't the standard stomach thing. Yeah, and it just kept getting worse. And I'm like writhing on the ground, just drenched in fucking cold sweat. So I call 911 and I'm like, I think I'm something, you know, I don't know if something's happening, I'm fucking dying. So they talked, they you know, the dispatcher talks to me for a little bit, the pain slowly starts to dissipate, and then I go outside and the the fire engine shows up, and I'm like, I'm okay. Like if I if it's if it flares up, sorry guys, I'll I'll I can wake up my wife and I'll have her drive me to the hospital. So they cancel the ambulance, so they just take a signature and they go away, and then then I'm like resting. I'm literally like I'm so physically fucking tired. My whole body is just fucking exhausted from just clenching to this fucking pain. And it starts to flare up again, but then it goes back down a little bit because I'd taken some anxiety medicine, which also helped, which I also think was part of why the attack was so bad. But I was like, okay, I think I'm having some kind of gallstone or something like that. Go to the doctor. Uh, she orders some labs. Yeah, labs, which I haven't gotten done yet because I have to fucking whatever, I don't need to get into the scheduling, scheduling, and then an ultrasound and an x-ray, which I had scheduled for this morning. And I kind of realized, like, oh shit, I've had this multiple times throughout my fucking life, where I've never had gallstones necessarily confirmed, and uh I've never had like fatty liver necessarily confirmed, but I remember it happening in my teenage years, and it would have it, I would get two of these episodes like every 10 years or the specific pain. And I've been to the doctor for it many times, and most of the time they're just like, oh, nothing's really wrong. You know, maybe don't, you know, eat a better diet, which totally is fucking fair. Salad. Right. Um, and usually when I start eating better, then it goes away. But I remember going to the hospital as a teenager for this back when I was a kid too, and they were just like, oh, it's just like gas. I'm like, I know what a fucking fart feels like, all right. I know what emergency diarrhea feels like. Like, I I understand what a fucked up stomach is. I have one of those. I I have I it could be heart gun. Yeah, exactly. Which I'm like, it's not, I don't, and it's not my stomach thing, but whatever. So I go this morning, get the ultrasound done, get the x-ray done. In my chart, I do indeed have sludge is what it's called in my gallbladder. So exactly. So sludge metal in your veins, and I have a slightly fatty fatty liver, which I you know, I'm sure will be confirmed by my lab work, which I gotta get in the next couple weeks. But gallbladder sludge. So I guess it's almost like the precursor to a gallstone. Okay. So it it's just thick, gross shit. I'm gonna talk to my doctor about it on Thursday, have a video call with her or whatever. But basically, it's like, yeah, when your gallbladder can't handle the amount of cholesterol or whatever that it has to fucking flip. It's leaking. It's well, I goop. Yeah, it's just building up goop, essentially. That would essentially the shit that made the ninja turtles. Yes, the ooze. Yeah, you got that name. Um, but it could eventually turn into a gallstone. So I'm like, oh, this is interesting. And it's finally, while I'm not stoked.
SPEAKER_02It feels good to have a name to a thing.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Yeah, because always, especially every couple years, I'm like, oh, I definitely have cancer, I'm definitely dying.
SPEAKER_02You called 911 saying you were dying. So I thought I'd say that's where your head was. Now it got lowered to I'm fine, I just have pre-gallstone. Yeah, it's like that's a huge relief mentally. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00So it's it's it's nice. It would and it's and your liver's fat, which I could have told you. No, exactly. Absolutely. Yeah, my sister has you. I'm just kidding. No, I'm serious. It runs in our fucking family. It's very common. Fatty livers are very common. Yeah, it runs in our family. This is why I can't drink. Your family doesn't run, that's why fatty livers run in your family. Exactly. And they like to drink and eat like shit. So yeah, it makes a hundred percent sense. But so it's something I can potentially control, maybe get on some medication. I don't know. We'll have to see what my uh options exist with my doctor. Eating walnuts helps. I don't know about that, but you just have to eat less fat, yeah, saturated fats. So like I can handle that. It's not very fun. I I love eating pizza and ice cream all the time, but I'm almost fucking for it. I can't do that anymore. So it was it was nice simultaneously, like, oh fuck, it's that health thing. It's like, oh, I have but I have an answer. Which feels good, uh, which feels good. And I was able to move along this process with the comic book so I can get back to doing what I wanted to do, uh, with a lot of this writing stuff. So it's it was kind of a one of those weird days where it's a mix of like highs and lows where you're like, eh, that fucking thing. But it's nice, but so overall, you know, I I while I've had some struggles at work and just feeling connected in my personal life and trying to figure out my giant fucking to-do list of things and just being stressed out about that. Like the past couple two days I've found a little bit, you know, of relief, you know, just in in checking off a couple of those to-do list things and learning uh what my fat ass needs to do to be a little bit healthier. A little less fat. Yeah, exactly. And I've it's depression is a fucking hell of a thing because it's like what do you mean? What is what is uh what is this depression? Yeah, what's that? But I I feel lucky enough to be able to make this observation at least, you know, have a little bit of a of a bird's eye view on it, uh, to be able to comment on it enough. A very fat pigeon, a fat flightless pigeon, one of those like bleached pigeons who you know eats too many French fries, you're like, oh, that thing looks pretty fucking rough. I've just been feeling like shit for the past few weeks, but at the same time, Leo hanging out with him and and so because Saturdays are kind of like our days because Kira's at dance and has very long days, so we get to go to the comic book shop. Oh, that's cool. We get to go get pizza and ice cream, which I'm not gonna be able to eat anymore. Then his Leo can't either start not liking you.
SPEAKER_02I don't like Dan anymore.
SPEAKER_00What you don't why what do you mean you can't eat this? He's literally started playing Super Smash Bros. Yeah, beautiful. He he chose on his own, okay. I didn't introduce him to Super Smash Brothers. He saw some balloon popping video. There's some first his grandfather had got him onto watching balloon popping videos on YouTube, and I looked up Kira's dad, Paul. I know exactly yeah, both of his grandpa are named Paul. That's the joke. And I I looked up these balloon popping videos from these fucking Australian guys. It's like it's it's like they're obnoxious because they're yelling all the time, but it's not like creepy, weird children YouTube stuff. And at the end of one of their videos, they were playing like a Smash tournament. So he watched that, and then he's like, I want to play Super Smash Brothers. I'm like, Oh dude, we got Super Smash Brothers. Yeah. So now he's playing Super Smash Bros. and beautiful. First off, he loved playing random, so just to kind of get get a hold of characters he wants to try them out, and who he's been maining lately is actually Simon and Richter. And he does really well with Ganendorf. So the heavy hitters who are slow because he's still learning the ropes, right? But he's been wanting to play Super Smash Bros. And he's been wanting to watch me play Ocarina of Time on my Nintendo 3DS, the 3D remake, because I showed him the trailer for the remake uh that's coming out on Switch 2 uh in November, and I booted that up and he's just he's my basically what I'm saying is my son, whom I love more than anything in the entire world, is only three, but he's requesting one to play one of like the funnest games of all time with Super Smash Bros. with all these fun characters, and two, he is requesting to watch me play my favorite game of all time, yeah. And he gets upset when he's like, But I wanted to play Aqua Dave Time, and he's like, Dad, we should play some Aqua Red Time like it's I love you so much! No, exactly. It's everything I could have ever wanted and it's fucking amazing. And at the same time, I'm like, I feel fucking miserable, and I'm like, God damn you, depression, you are a fucking asshole.
SPEAKER_02Do you feel miserable because you're uncomfortable being that happy? Or is there something else?
SPEAKER_00Um, no, I don't think so, because I can I can recognize it and be like, this is amazing, and I can feel appreciative in the moment of just like I can take that outside of my body and be like, this is fucking great. Okay, good. My kid is wanting to play Super Smash and Alcarina. That's that's I I can appreciate that in the moment, but then after we get done playing or something like that, and then I'm thinking about something else that I just feel fucking miserable. So it's like this, it's this weird one 180, you know what I mean? So I can still live in the moment and appreciate those those special times with him, which it's hilarious. I'm like, I'm literally at the I just beat the spirit temple, which is the the last temple that you beat in Aquarium Time before you fight Ganondorf, and there's a bunch of spooky music and all this kind of stuff, and anything with Leo that has minor peril, he does not want anything to do with it. So, like, even if there's something that's slightly spooky or whatever, he just like tries to run away, and then I'm like, Oh, they're showing a cutscene, and then he's like, he like wants to listen to the music, and then he's he gets curious, it's like he's around the corner waiting. Yeah, it's so funny. But it's it's just been a it's been a weird few weeks, but I think I'm finally coming out of it, and I'm forever thankful for you know my family and my friends who I've gotten Mike Sanchez said that he read the book and he really enjoyed it, which meant a lot. And you know, so it's like I I I am an extremely lucky person, even with sludge in my body and the fucking depression anxiety that that's always trying to fucking fight its way out and take over everything. I I I still feel extremely thankful. That's important. Yeah, you know, because yeah, it's fucking fucking dark times. You know, it's fucking dark times. And yeah, fuck I mean, whatever, yeah. It's don't have to get into all the musicians who are fucking dying left and right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's uh it's funny. I uh I brought up the the anxiety and the heartburn. I have a friend at work who started having panic attacks, anxiety attacks last like year or so. And the problem is is he has really bad heartburn and acid reflux.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So every time he has an episode, he doesn't know which is it is.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Am I not being able to breathe because of the acid reflux or the anxiety, or is it one that bled into the other? Is it a mix? So he can't find a quote unquote cure or an answer. So he's constantly going through this, and he's called the ambulance, and he's been he's done what you did so many times over this year, and he's really struggling with that, and that's such a pain point for him. It's like I don't know what it is, I don't know which is first, and then there's an asthma thing, so now it has an inhaler, like he's trying to tackle it in so many ways, he hasn't fully committed to tackling the mental part. Yeah, so he's doing all the the other parts, the body and the health. Uh, you telling your story, I completely forgot. I haven't had a panic or an anxiety attack in a few years. Yeah, it's been a long time. Yeah, I had like four in one day. Jesus. Like a week ago, where I just that like my heart was like it's shortness of breath, and I was like in a fog, and I was like, Oh shit, I think I'm dying like right now. Yeah, I was like, oh man, I can't die at work. That's so lame. I can't that can't be the like that's that shepherd gets some good insurance.
SPEAKER_00It's not cool too.
SPEAKER_02It's also not sad enough, like it's just kind of lame. Yeah, it's like I can't do that, that's not fair.
SPEAKER_00Worker bee, bro. You're a slave dog.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. I don't want that to be the oh, I just work so hard. It's like it's gotta be more romantic than the Japanese sour man. Exactly. I was like, I hate this, but that happened like four times that day, it wouldn't stop. And I told the the my friend at work, I was like, hey, he's like, what? I was like, I'm I'm dying, dude. Like it's happening like right now, and I'm telling him, he's like, Do you need to go to the hospital? I was like, of course not. He's like, What do you mean? I was like, it is what it is, man. You just I just write it out. Yeah, I was like, I just it either heart attack, it either kills me or it doesn't, and he's like, Yeah, that's the fear is it could kill you. I was like, uh, it's somebody's fear, and not mine right now. I don't think it's gonna be it. Yeah, so I was just like living that day, and it's been happening uh a few uh few times over the last like two weeks. Jesus. Where I was just like, Oh yeah, that hits me, and I'm just like, oh man, I can't breathe and think, and my heart's gonna blow up. And I'm just like, ah shit. I remember hating this and being terrified of it. Yeah, and it just it it's turned into like a ugh, like an inconvenience, like it hits me at at work during the day.
SPEAKER_00I mean, but that's I'm just like that's different though.
SPEAKER_02That's good without the panic of it, that's yeah, it's it's not too scary because I think I know what it is, and I'm but in the mental aspect is it more in control than the physiological. And I also think I have a thing in my head of like this isn't gonna be the thing that like I know it's not like that because I just it it's just not. I know it. I'm very sure that's great. This won't be it. That's good, yeah. But then it's also I I need to address why I'm having those so much. Sure, of course. And then my therapist did say we've fallen into a pattern the last three or four sessions where she goes, I don't like this. And I was like, What's what? And she goes, We hit a weird pattern now where we talk about what we talk about, but you before we leave, just hit a moment where you go, Yeah, I don't want to. And I was like, Yeah, I think I noticed that last time. She goes, Yeah, we gotta talk about that part of like anytime we start talking about like reparenting the child version of you. I was like, I don't have kids. Yeah, I'm not gonna have kids. I didn't ask for kids, I'm not gonna reparent myself because I'm not a parent. Yeah, because you don't want to take care of yourself. Yeah, it was like that's not my job, that's someone else's, and I think you're also telling me not to be doing so much for other people. This feels like I'm doing something for someone else. She's like, For you, it's like little me. Uh that's not me. I don't want to do it. I didn't ask for this. Interesting. And then it's like the oh, well, maybe you should start thinking about a new job. And I was like, that's tricky with my brain. It's the uh, if you had bad friends, you you cut them out, get good friends. If you're in a bad relationship, you end it, you move forward. If you don't like your your house, you you sell it. If you don't like where you live, move. If you don't like your job, I was like, how far down there do we go? Where's my line? Yeah. So I was like, I don't like how I think. I don't like how I emotionally respond to things. Lobotomize yourself. Yeah, I was like, I rather die and start over. Like, can I reset? She's like, well, I was like, that's why this is a tricky, we're in tricky headspace right now.
SPEAKER_00Is reincarnation real? Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Siri, yeah. Like I'm like, let's talk about this dying thing.
SPEAKER_00Something about the tenor of your fucking voice and my voice. Yeah, that's so funny.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, so I uh there's there's of course, obviously, this the standard for perpetuity's sake is there's work to be done. Of course, but I I am every once in a while in a weird head space of nah.
SPEAKER_00Becoming avoidant.
SPEAKER_02Nah. Don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't cause it. You're telling me I didn't cause it. Tell me it's not my fault. Well, then I don't think I want to pick up this party. I didn't have it. I didn't invite anybody. Someone else had the party, and I don't want to clean up. That's so fascinating. So I think I'm just gonna leave it broken, and I don't know why. You know what I mean? Like it's not even uh it's a petulance, it's not it is. It's uh I'm throwing a tantrum. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And that's why I tell her, I was like, Yeah, I'm throwing a tantrum where I don't want to do it.
SPEAKER_00I shouldn't have to do this, therefore I'm not gonna do it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, Well, I was like, No, you well, don't you well me. Yeah, we're here now. That's so funny.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's fascinating.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's yeah, dark times for sure. Storms coming and rained at my place. I think it's literally raining right now.
SPEAKER_00I think it's been very rainy. So I'm loving that. See, and that's also a factor in me being depressed. As much as I don't like the heat, if it's cloudy for multiple days in a row, it starts to affect me. I I'm a true desert person. I've had to come to accept of I need the sunshine because in my cycle is in tune, I think, with with nature a little bit. I'm I'm yeah, connected to nature like that, like a horoscope lady. You're a little flower. Yes, I'm a moon child.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, uh even though it's been great in the rains with I'm still I'm still in the headspace of overcast, all of this is cozy. Okay, and there's comfort in. Peace in the cozy. No, I'm not sure. Sunshine walking makes me uh I don't want to go outside. I don't want to do stuff if it's hot because I'm uncomfortable in my body. Yeah. So yeah, this is like, oh, it's cozy. That gives me the like I want to go be comfortable doing something. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Like this, I'm more I'm more inclined to like, oh yeah, I I should go to the mall. I got like errands to run. This doesn't make me want to hide inside all the time. So yeah, I'm still there, but I know exactly what you mean. Is uh I think a lot of people at a certain point they hit the like, no, sunshine's healthy and it helps recharge. It's something about it. Yeah. I get it. I mean it's real. We are animals. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's true. That's true.
SPEAKER_02That is real.
SPEAKER_00That's true. I did see a movie over the past weekend. With Grant, I saw Resident Evil.
SPEAKER_02Is that out?
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02I'm so dumb.
SPEAKER_00It just came out this weekend.
SPEAKER_02I didn't think it was out yet. I want to go see it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I won't say anything.
SPEAKER_02You have never seen a Zack Kregger movie. Correct. Everyone's he's the next big thing for horror.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_02Barbarian.
SPEAKER_00And then what was the other one? It's the one where people are run weapons, right?
SPEAKER_02Barbarian Weapons, this one, and then he's uh he's a comedy guy before that.
SPEAKER_00Yes. The whitest kids you know is this him?
SPEAKER_02Yes. I saw weapons. I didn't see Barbarian.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Yep. I'd never seen any of it until Resident Evil. Do you like it?
SPEAKER_00Do you want me to tell you?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Because you're not a horror guy, you're not a Zack Kregger guy, you're not a Resident Evil guy.
SPEAKER_00Nope. It is excellent. Awesome. You should definitely see it.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I'll go for sure this weekend. I'll look at tickets right after we record. Does this make you want to watch any of his other stuff? As now you know he's a director.
SPEAKER_00Sure. Yeah, I like I like a lot of his decisions. Okay. Yeah. Um, and I like his his mindset uh in terms of like adapting the video game. So yeah. It was a very good time. And it's 95 minutes long. There it is. As soon as I got out, and I should have texted Josh Jenkins, but I'm like, this is 95 minutes of effective filmmaking. This is right up Josh Jenkins alley. So I I yeah, you gotta write in Josh and let us know. I'm sure you probably saw it with Dan or something. So there's a few things in weapons I think you will enjoy. Yeah, I I'm yeah, I'm curious now. Yeah, because yeah, I'm just not a horror guy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um he's playing on Magnolia a bit.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02I think you'll like the cast.
SPEAKER_00Nice. Yeah, the cast is stacked. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02There's some stuff in there. I'm like, yeah, you'll you yeah.
SPEAKER_00You'll be good with this. Yeah, I'll definitely get around to him. But yes, you should definitely watch Resident Evil.
SPEAKER_02This is cool. Didn't make me want to see Barbarian, that's why I asked. Is I didn't get off of that going, well, I gotta watch all this stuff. It didn't make me do that, but I am very excited to watch Resident Evil because the game bugs me. Yes, but I'm interested.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there's there's a lot to discuss, but yes, it's a good Resident Evil movie. Nice, awesome. I like this, and the filmmaking is interesting. I like I just like a lot of the choices, yeah, and I like the main character, and yeah, it's good. It's it's it's good. We'll discuss it more once you see it, but definitely go see it. Yeah, first movie I've seen since since Spidey. Yeah, it was yeah, we got a couple that are coming up now. Yeah, I'm getting excited. Primetime and I mean Avengers Encorus this weekend, too. I think I'm okay. Me too. Doomsday looks not good. Yeah, I'm not gonna, I don't need to be reminded of the pinnacle, and then we're gonna go see something disappointing.
SPEAKER_02Doomsday looks really not good, yeah. And I haven't seen the Dune trailer, so I'm holding out that that's gonna be a big one. Primetime's a big one, Dune 3's a big one. Oh, I did see of course the Nathan Fielder. Oh, yeah, that's coming out.
SPEAKER_00Everything you can see. History of Concrete. I did see the Godzilla minus zero trailer, which got uh was played in IMAX in front of Resident Evil. Yeah, there's a bunch of fun stuff coming out.
SPEAKER_02There's there's some stuff, yeah. Um every once in a while I get in a weird uh moment where I'm just bad at going to see things in the theater where I just feel like that's a whole to-do and I'm lazy. Yeah, but no, I gotta go see Resident Evil. This might be a decent segue because we talked about Resident Evil and I I struggle with those games. I'm playing a new game called Mortal Shell 2. Yes, it's a Souls-like, which means it's kind of like Dark Souls Elden Ring, which I think most people lean into now. What that means is when you die, you lose your resource at the place you died. You gotta go get it. Yep. It's hard, and big epic bosses, and it's like dark medieval fantasy RPG. Sure. The hook for this game is you're a weird skeleton guy, and what a shell is, is like the soul of a champion knight. Okay, and they died, and you can inhabit their body. So instead of leveling up yourself, that's like your loadout. Is this knight is big and tanky and he shoots fire? This knight's like your your assassin, he can turn invisible, this one shoots lightning. Like that's your how you play. Okay, and the thing is, is if you lose your health, you get knocked out of the shell, and now you're skeleton guy. You gotta go kill people, and then you can get back into your shell. So you get like two lives with that. Okay, that's its hook. It's cool, it's got a lot of fun designs, like guns instead of just crossbows. Oh, nice, like a shotgun, like a steampunk cannon. A little, it's uh it's definitely silly. Like one of the bad guys is like a fat slug woman on like a fire wheelchair, Mad Max, your favorite thing, in a swamp, like shooting fire and stuff. Like you can tell they're they're playful. Okay, you know what I mean? It's not taking itself too serious, it's playful. The combat's pretty good, the designs are pretty cool, the character design's cool. This is my problem that FromSoft games have put me in. Nothing means anything. The world design means nothing other than this is cool. We're in a swamp because we wanted to do a swamp. You're in a broken down castle, it there's no name to it, it means nothing, the characters aren't connected. The reason why these people like you know there's no environmental storytelling, sure, there's no thought and intention into anything. Yeah, it's just a game for the sake of a game, and it's fun. At a certain point, that's not enough for me anymore. Yeah, and I start checking out and I start getting bored because I've now seen through that veil of like this can mean something. Yeah, you can have intention behind these uh concepts and ideas. You could tell a story on why are these characters in this area and what they mean to this castle and the history. You can do that. Yeah, I know you can.
SPEAKER_00Lacking that depth.
SPEAKER_02Just people don't, yeah. And I know it's rare that people do, and so I know it's a little unfair for me to judge all games on this weird niche way of telling a story, not really. I mean, but it's just it's the thing that I connect with and I enjoy, so I'm missing it. So I'm starting to get a little bored with it, but it's fun, and that's my thing with Resident Evil, is like it doesn't feel like things mean a thing. Yeah, it's like it is what it is for the sake of well, we wanted them to be bigger, we wanted you to fight a giant spider, we wanted you to, you know what I mean? Like it's yeah, it's at the bottom of this mansion is an oil refinery, and then you're gonna come out and then it's a castle.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Resident Evil, I think, is unique in how self-referential it is, yeah, and how its ridiculous tone uh it's camp. Yeah, it is, and I didn't know that, and they they very much know that and they play into it. So I'm pretty forgiving in terms of Resident Evil deck because it just it's never gonna make sense.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I didn't know that, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So watching you guys play Resident Evil and then oddly enough, like Grant try to pull lore out of it, but it's they try, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's it's futile, and then the the let's play show that does the Elden Ring and the From Soft, they also do Resident Evil. So these guys love it. So when something corny happens, they're like, Oh, this is awesome! Like a motorcycle chase scene in Requiem. Yeah, they're like, This is the best part of the game, yeah. Like they're freaking out, going, This is so silly, yeah, exactly, campy and fun. And I was like, it's just not for me. Yeah, the show we're watching, I think has a lot of storytelling, it feels lived in. I have a different problem now, though. Okay, I'm not I'm I'm now my brain's pulling a nick.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02This is Elden Ring, is I'm not connected to a character. I'm not connected to a character and their journey. Therefore, I kind of don't care when a lot of things are happening. Yeah, there's cool lore, there's tidbits, there's connective tissue, there's a greater story being told, which is my bag, and I'm excited for all of that.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_02But I'm missing this root thing that I need in a narrative show, which is I should care more about these characters and what their journey is. And because I don't know if this show is telling a journey, I think they're showing me a world and showing me the people trying to survive the world. So far, yeah. I'm a little um distant. I'm a little I'm I'm watching a thing happen. Oddly enough, that is exactly how I felt with the first Dune movie. And I remember talking to our friend Joshua in LA, okay, where I said this is one of the best looking movies I've ever seen. I love Denny, but I feel like I'm just watching things happen. Yeah, I don't care about any character, and I have no emotional attachment to anything happening.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Which is a weird headspace for me to be in to have a movie I love as much as I do is Dune, where I was like, I'm loving watching this. It means nothing though. Like it feels hollow.
SPEAKER_03Sure.
SPEAKER_02And I think that's where I'm coming with this show. We're almost done with season one, and that's where I am, is like more people died this episode. Yep. I was like, uh, yeah, that's what happens, and I get that. That's the world. I don't have a lot of questions about oh, I can't wait to find out what Aaron's going through. Not really. Yep. I want to know about the world. Who's the lady Titan and where do we go now? And what's in the forest? Like, I have questions about the world and the greater conceptual story, yes, but the journey of these characters, I'm like, eh, I don't know. I don't care.
SPEAKER_00And I think one of the biggest problems with that is it's taking so long because we've I've complained about the pacing of this show and the storytelling choices, which I do think is it comes from adapting manga, you know, which and I don't understand uh or have a concept of the culture surrounding manga adaptations. Like, is it good to stick very closely to the manga? Is it bad to stick closely to the manga? Like, I'm not embedded in the world enough. And I'd be curious if any of our listeners know, please let us know if you do. But it's it's again, it's these shots of them riding on their horses just to fucking either talking internally or talking out loud instead of like which I get you're trying to save budget for fights and stuff like that, which they do look very fun. But yeah at the same time, I'm like, this works on a comic book page. You have a single fucking image and you have a caption that works. Turn the page, it's a different panel, different caption. It doesn't fucking work in a version in a visual, audio, film, television way. Yeah, because you're just sitting there. The whole you know, whatever ideal of visual storytelling is you're supposed to be able to watch it on mute and still know what's happening in the story, still know the character relationships, still understand the stakes of what's happening in the scene, which I think is a lot to ask of filmmakers. Uh, but when you put it through that lens, like you're just fucking for two minutes, you're staring at a fucking page of like just this people talking or their head is talking. Like that's not good visual storytelling necessarily. But there's something to this kind of crippling cripplingly slow pace in terms of we can be combining these fucking episodes. This season needs to be 12 episodes, this season doesn't need to be 25 episodes or whatever the fuck it's gonna end up being. It's frustrating because I know a lot of this stuff has to fucking come to fruition at some point in the series. Yeah, like we're talking about the world, the world is fucking intriguing. What's up with the titans? What's up with who is this lady Titan? She's infiltrated them, so there's implicit of like the armor titan and the colossal titan are also maybe members of the military or something like that, and who the fuck are they? And like we're starting to get all this kind of intrigue, and there's no doubt shit that the top brass knows about the titans that the civilians don't, and they keep them in the dark intentionally. There's all this nefarious shit going on, but we know that that stuff's coming, but it's not what the characters are dealing with directly right now. It's so far, it's just been very redundant in terms of like I know that this death and destruction shit is gonna tie in somehow bigger, or I fucking hope it does, and this hopelessness of all these people, and just the fucking number of deaths that happen on screen at all times, like and how it's crushing these people who survive. There's no doubt in my mind that this is gonna be like big thematic stuff that still ties in as this as the series continues, and maybe could have some big cathartic resolutions or something, I hope. But it's taking so fucking long, and we're seeing the same shit so many times. And it's just like that's the risk that you run when you do that stuff, when you are having these things happen repeatedly, even if you're trying to nail them in and solidify them for a narrative for later payoffs, you run the risk of losing people caring because you're like, oh, that guy, who's this guy's name again? Oh shit, oh he's dead. Okay, okay, who's this girl? What's this girl's name again? Oh, yeah, she has this, oh, she's dead. Okay, you know what I mean? It's like you have no one to attach to besides these main three characters, Aaron, Erwin, and uh Mikasa. And still the episodes are like, oh god, Aaron got Eden. It's like, stop, stop. This motherfucker's not gonna die. Maybe if he dies, it's gonna be at the end of the show or something like that. I mean, I think uh Erwin and and Mikasa probably are up in the air a little bit more, but like stop trying to tease us with that shit. All these other fuckers are dying, all these other people are expendable. So, like, and they don't have enough personal motivation besides the motivations that were established at the very fucking beginning of this season. They haven't grown, you know what I mean? Like, and especially in this, these three episodes, fucking Aaron has the same revelation that he did three episodes ago, where he's like, Oh, I gotta trust my fucking team. Okay, so he trusts in his team, and then they all get fucking killed, and then he gets mad, and then he's like, Okay, now I'm gonna fight this tight end. It's just like you already had the revelation, you just made the different decision back then, so I guess it is different, but like six episodes, it feels like repeated behavior, you know what I mean, just in these back-to-back episodes that we've recorded. But like, I really fucking hope all this shit's gonna pay off in some cool way. I really fucking do.
SPEAKER_02The unfortunate thing is, is I've talked to two people that love the show, and they're like, How you doing with it? Where are you with it? And I told them where we were, and they're like, Okay, so how how do you feel now that you met the female Titan and they're not spoiling anything? And I told them our issue is like it just it feels like the pacing's too long, it's taking too long to get there. It's a weird way to tell a story. And they both said the same thing, and we always talked about it. I was like, You might just not like anime. This is how Dragon Ball Z is, is how Demon Slayer is, this is this is this might be how anime series are, yeah, and it's just not your thing. And I keep thinking about that because I keep wanting to reference other shows, and I'm like, I mean, it is the like they don't they're not doing three-ac structure, they're not doing what we do. Because I was gonna say one of my problems with the last six episodes, the forest bit. Yeah. When someone asked, what part of the show are you in? I can't say episode 20, this is what happens. I have to say the uh there's female titan. Yeah, we're in the woods with the female titan. I can't tell you okay, what was happening before the female titan? I'm like, I forgot. I think I don't remember how many episodes it was for him to be a scout, yeah. And then what was before the scout? I guess was the he is a titan. And then before that was just fighting in the city, like it's hard for me to grab a point, a plot point, or a character beat. And I was gonna say, that's I've watched it a million times, so it's a cheat. But if someone was to watch Friday Night Lights, and I'm like, where are you? Oh, it's this episode. Oh, it's the Lila's dealing with this. Every episode had a thing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Coach Taylor's out of town, Julian the Swede, Riggins is dealing with math, like whatever it is, I can be like, yeah, that episode has a contained story that connects to the larger, but there's a thing in the episode.
SPEAKER_00Well, and that's exactly that's why I think the series may be too beholden and many animes that are adapted for manga to that manga. Because if if you have these mini arcs of, and some of them are three episodes, some of them are six episodes, some of them are nine episodes, some of them are one episode. Like that feels like chapter shit to me, right? You know what I mean? That feels like little mini arcs of a manga. There should be a little more adaptation in my personal taste of like there's got to be some condensing, there's got to be some shuffling of some things around to just make it play as better narrative television. And I was talking to Henry, my coworker, who uh really enjoys the show, and I was telling him this past weekend of some of the issues we were having, and I was just like, dude, and I I was just point blank with him. Like, if I was watching this, I would have stopped after like two episodes. And while I like the world and I am intrigued to what it is, I would have just like watched a fucking recap video on YouTube or read about it on Wikipedia because I do want to know what's going on, and I do want to know, like it sounds fucking like no, there's things I need to know. Yeah, it's it's this weird juxtaposition of like I hate how this story is being told, but I'm extremely intrigued by its premise because I because I the potential is there, and he even was like, Yeah, you know, if I had to, I don't know if I'd rewatch it as much as he liked if he really fucking liked and says it's a great anime. He's like, I don't know if I'd really rewatch it. He's like, Yeah, a lot of anime is like that where it's just voiceover of what's going on in the characters' heads. And I'm like, that is a trope I do not like. Yeah, that's telling and not showing, that's not visual storytelling. You know, it works in comics, it works in manga, but when you're adapting it for television or a movie, you need to fucking change it. You need to adapt it into how the medium that you're working in suits the story best. So I don't know. It it's it is a challenge. So it is a little bit of that, like maybe we just don't like anime. I don't know if the whole series is gonna be like that, I'm not sure, but I've definitely been getting extremely frustrated. Even Kira's just like, why are they showing all these side characters? I don't give a fuck about any of these people. Yeah, like let's just move on.
SPEAKER_02I'm trying to look up and I was I was having trouble finding it. I'll do some research. I'm curious how much the creator has a part in the series. And I think it depends, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Good question on Attack on Titan. And I don't even know if it's a singular person who writes and draws the manga. If the Yeah, I don't know that part either. Yeah, so I'm not sure. We we'll we'll look into that because it's it's coming up a lot. And I did look at some like the the first three volumes of the manga, and it was pretty close to those first few episodes in terms of like pacing and what was happening. So I'm just like, it could just be they're beholden so much to the pacing of this.
SPEAKER_02Because I think that's the only reason why to do it. I guess. I mean, it also goes into like, I mean, Evangelion made movies that are a rehash of the show. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I think they're they kinda. Why do it otherwise? Yeah. Or in another way. Yeah. It's there there is a big cultural shift, and I think it's hard for me and you right now still. But it's also like I I feel weird in it could be the the Western guilt of judging another culture's art. I don't feel that if I say it's not my cup of tea. It's not my cup of green tea.
SPEAKER_00No, and I don't think it's it's not a I mean that that was a little questionable, but but I thought you were gonna walk away. No, I almost did. I uh it took my brain a second to register it. But I don't think it's disparaging to say that that's not my matcha, Nick. It's because the entirety of Japanese cinema or anime is not necessarily like that. Maybe that's the dominant uh form and way of adapting manga stuff like that. But like if you think of Miizaki and Studio Ghibli, and you think of other animes that we've watched and have felt are classics to us over the years, the stuff that the little things that we've consumed, like their storytelling isn't necessarily like this, but it isn't necessarily like the uh the Western stuff that we're used to. So even though this type of anime might be dominant, like it's that's not everything there is, and Miyazaki's form is just as Japanese as something like Attack on Titan, and it's completely fucking different in terms of the storytelling choices.
SPEAKER_02Well, I mean, the there's there's I have to take Hayao Miyazaki at what he is, I have to go to him. He has never come to me except the closest would be Princess Mononoke or Kiki's delivery service. Yes. But even with Kiki, and he talks about it all the time, is like he'll make plot and structured decisions that don't make sense to me. Spirited away, the central premise is the parents turn to pigs, and she needs to get that sorted. That never comes up again. Then there's an entire hour and 10-minute movie of a whole other thing of her growing up and learning to work, and then at the end, her parents come back and they're like, Oh, we're fine, you're ready to go. Like it wasn't uh I need to get back to my parents. My parents are pigs. A western that's yeah, that's your like setup payoff, guys. That's your setup payoff. Yeah, yeah. That's her lowest point, is going, I'm never getting my parents to not be pigs again. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah. I can't even tell you the plot of the boy in the hair on. I know I liked it. Yeah, yeah. I know he's talking about uh legacy and how he doesn't respect his son. I think is what I took from it. He goes, No one can do this shit but me, pretty much, is what I think he spent all of Japan's film budget on is to just stunt on his son and go, Yeah, he's he ain't me. Which yeah, for those only one of me.
SPEAKER_00For those who don't know, yeah, the boy in the heron, even though it's an animated film, it's the most expensive Japanese film ever made.
SPEAKER_02Um I literally do think that's what that movie's about. Is I'm the only one that can keep this going. I can't hand this off to anybody.
SPEAKER_00And that sucks, but that's the reality.
SPEAKER_02Truth hurts. Yeah, but like I can't tell you what that film, I can't tell you the plot. There's a guy that turns into a bird, and there's no reason for it. Sure, sure. So even there, I'm like and we gotta do a season on Azaka.
SPEAKER_00We have to we gotta do it. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Like, even in these films that I love, I'm like, I don't know what you're doing structurally, I can't map this out. Sure. This isn't three act, this doesn't make sense to me. You'll pick up something, you'll drop it, you'll move it here or there. Yeah, it it's weird. I like the weirdness when I feel like I'm in good hands because there's gonna be something profound.
SPEAKER_00Sure. Or they're trying to express something.
SPEAKER_02We've yet to get there with this show, yeah. And the fact that it's a series and not a movie is harder for me to get on board and go, look, they did this is how they tell the stories. I like it more than you, I'm on board more than you, but I'm also bored. Yes, like it's still happening where I'm just like, God damn, dude. Like, I think we just watched three episodes, but they blur together. But that's also not that fair because these were cool episodes. There's some cool action, yes, there's some great visuals, there's good composition, there's really great, awesome, and interesting moments. But when I was done with these three episodes, I was like, yeah, okay. It's just it was an hour and a half of my day. I want to do something I want to do now. Like it does still feel like it's a chore. It does feel that fucking chore to watch. And with this podcast, I always get scared when we do that because I don't think I'm good enough to talk about something that's a chore. I think parts of Friday Night Lights felt like that when you were really not liking it, and then parts of M Night Shyamalan felt like that for both of us. But I was like, I don't want to watch this movie. Yeah, I don't even want to talk about it. Yeah, because I don't want to come on here and go, This is just a bad movie. There's nothing redeeming, it's just bad. Yeah. Glass is only fun to talk about if you talk about how much of wasted potential that is to kill Bruce Willis in a puddle. Yeah, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00Like one of I stand by it, Dave Jordan be damned, one of the worst movies I've ever seen in theaters. Yeah. In my Shaman's glass.
SPEAKER_02It's like there's potential here, and you squandered all of it in this show. It's not any of those things, it's not upsetting me, it's not ridiculous, it's not confusing, it's just kind of happening.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Even when it's good, when uh Miska goes back to get uh Aaron, and she's fighting and she's like changing direction mid-air because she's good at this. Yeah, I was like, this is freaking awesome. This looks so cool, and I'm having so much fun watching this. And I'm just like, that's I just watched it.
SPEAKER_03Just means nothing. I'm I'm still at a distance. Meaningless.
SPEAKER_02I think my favorite thing they did this episode was when they went back to town, though. Yes, beat up, and that call back to him seeing them as kids. I did like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he's he's gonna start yelling at these people, and then he sees the kids as basically him and Mika Saur, and he's just like devastated by it and just starts sobbing. Yeah, I I like that. That means something.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. That was really good, and it's such a cool dream image of him as a little kid, and then it cuts to him in the scout suit watching them. I was like, Yeah, this is yes, sir. This is what I'm here for. That's amazing. I really like this. This is exactly it's emotionally driven decisions, yeah. And I was I was very uh I was very uh grabbed by it.
SPEAKER_00It means somebody to the main characters. We are shown what it meant to them when they were children. It's this setup, it's this payoff, it has emotional weight and resonance. Where the rest of this whole time we're just having, oh, all the scouts are confused. What were they told? What were they not told? Do they trust each other? Do they not trust each other? They're upset about dying, they're still upset. I'm like, I thought, first of all, they this fucking world needs to get their military into fucking gear. Their children. Oh, I just I don't get it. I thought these were the elite of the elite, and you still have people who are like, hey, we put our asses on the line for it's like no no no, no, no, no, no. You're supposed to be the elite of the elite. You should be a fucking robot, you should be a marine, you should do what Irvin says or whatever to a T. And you should not be upset when your fucking friends die and you shouldn't lose your shit in combat, especially even though they're all abnormals. It's just to see them, who these are supposed to be the elite squad, act like they the rookies in the beginning. I'm like, that's inconsistent to me. I I think that that I do not like that whatsoever. And the people talking back, like I'm I'm like, shut the what the f You wouldn't be chosen if you were fucking talking back to be in this elite squad. I just think it's sloppy. It's and then them being like, oh, really? We gotta dump the fucking dead bodies and all the shit. So it's like, how many people have fucking died over the past couple years because of the Titans?
SPEAKER_02That's a culture of honor. Bullshit. Nah.
SPEAKER_00I think that's bullshit. I don't see it in action.
SPEAKER_02I think it's well, I think it's built into Japanese culture more than it is here.
SPEAKER_00But it's like, but we're not in Japan in this thing, we're in the future world where it's all a mishmash of cultures. So like I don't, and they're all upset about it and all this shit, and it's like, oh, I'm gonna go back and give my friend's body, and then my other friend's gonna get fucking killed. Like, it's just sloppy shit where I'm just like, guys, we're supposed to be the elite of the elite, we shouldn't be having these problems. And I think the show forgot about that. Or to me, the show forgot about that. This behavior makes sense for those early episodes, but for this, when we're supposed to be under this amazing commander and these scouts who are hand chosen, like it's much better to see them, or I would prefer to see them out in the field, crazy military, very strict, very emotionless, but then come back into town fucking defeated because their numbers are so lost and they're so beat to shit. And you have people heckling them, but you have the kids who are who are still buying into this lie that they're amazing. Um, that's what I wanted. I don't want the infighting and the bickering of the secondary characters and the weakness and all this stuff. I'm just like, that doesn't make any sense. We have already seen this, and these are supposed to be the elite motherfuckers, and at the same time, when they're like, Oh, it could be one of us, uh one of us, it's just like, yeah, are you not accounting for every person? What the fuck do you mean? You think count them? Yeah, like well, they talk by flair. Well, no, I get that, but that's about creating a giant formation, but still, it's like, no, you leave your fucking castle or whatever, you're like this person, this person, this you're taking fucking ring, and then like when you get back, you're not doing that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's that was my first thought. I was like, I don't can you everyone take their hood off, and then is there someone you're missing, or yeah, that's that was my thought in that. Who's acting suspicious?
SPEAKER_00Who's the guy in the corner who's yeah, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Like, I they just bug the shit out of me. Yeah, um, which they get they're gonna have to explain that. I fucking hope. It it has to be someone you've known and you didn't know they were a spy. It can't just be they dressed up. Random guy, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's gotta be someone that we know because everyone knows everybody by their first name.
SPEAKER_02Yeah so it's it's gotta be something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but yeah, not liking it, but it's such a fucking weird thing. Intrigued by the world, abhorred by the storytelling choices. But do you have any random stuff? Oh, yeah, yeah. I wrote my first note, uh, which I barely took any notes for all these episodes, but my first one is uh the scouts, they're like in the fucking tree, and it might even be Erwin Erwin who is just like, nothing makes sense anymore. What are we even doing here? And I put good question.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You tell me exactly. I did like watching them. I like watching the Titans try to climb, and I like the idea of them just watching that. It was very animal, very uh it was very Jurassic Parky. Like that is the thing that'll kill us. It can't get here yet, so we're just kind of going about our day watching it. Learn. I thought that it was just a very interesting concept to me. I liked that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I like the line to rise above monsters, we have to abandon our humanity. And if you can't let it go, it's not worth holding on to. I'm like, it's a pretty cool message, and I'm sure this is gonna tie into things as the series progresses. And yeah, the female Titan being able to harden her skin, which they're like, oh, that's how the Arbor Titan was. So I'm like, okay, cool. Building a little little bit of tight floor.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's why they call him the armor. I didn't know that. Yeah. And then um, the image of him connected inside, like the flesh, like stretching around his eye. It's like that does look cool and it's disgusting. Yeah. I also thought it was a little gross, uh, them chopping the female Titan, like her arms and stuff. Yeah, like just the idea of like slashing at flesh with like essentially razor blades for swords. It was like, yeah, it's yeah, it's gross. Yeah, I'll say it. It's a little yucky.
SPEAKER_00And I do like in that second episode when Aaron decides to titanify himself and the two titans are fighting. I really like that she is overwhelmed by his rage at many points, where she is clearly more skilled at strategic in how she fights and has these different abilities than he does, but still she gets overwhelmed. But he fucking burns out, and just her fucking chopping his fucking top of his head off crazy with the uh the tree as well. I'm just like, that's fucking cool.
SPEAKER_02And breaking his jaw with a pine.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, ripping his fucking jaw, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So it's just and screaming to have the Titans eater was gross and cool. No, there was some cool stuff. There's also a really good image of when they're carrying all the bodies on the backs of the horse, like in the carriage. Yes, and the guy's sitting and the the the feet are just bouncing with the horse in frame. Yeah, it's like it is good. Yeah, he's sitting with his friends, those are all his dead friends. Yeah, and that hot blonde girl that everyone liked died. She got squished on the tree.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they fuck yeah, the the deaths are brutal in these episodes. It is sad, yeah. Yeah, even the fucking asshole who's a prick, just you know, it's yeah, it's it's bleak.
SPEAKER_02It's fucking bleak. It's a lot of fucking dead people. Yeah, it's crazy with these things you still don't think are scary. No, I don't, I don't. Uh the amount of destruction they're causing and overwhelming nature, you're just like not good enough.
SPEAKER_00They're silly looking, well, which they are. And yeah, I gotta I know it's gonna tie into later on, but it's one of those like thematic kind of spoilers that I do want to bring up, but I I don't know if it's spoilerly for the whole plot or not. I I don't know. Maybe it isn't. Maybe I'll bring it up in the next couple episodes. But like having that in my head, it makes it less scary too. So um, season one of Attack on Titan, we will finish prom next week. There are three episodes left, and it's just a little mini arc that'll end the season. And I just looked it up. Season two is only 12 episodes, so I like that, and I hope that fixes your main concern. Exactly. Because seasons three and four are longer, they're 24 and like 30 or something like that. But I know that's when it's supposed to really hit its stride. But I hope season two is kind of like a reset of like, all right, we need to hone this a little bit more. We need to maybe the budget change, maybe the animators change. I don't know. Maybe we can try to look at some behind-the-scenes stuff, but Titan it up. It's not gonna get better than that. Uh, but yeah, next week we'll be back to finish season one of Attack on Titan. We still have a lot to go in this season 11 of the podcast. I don't know. I hope I I hope it ends strong, at least the season, right? Because it's season finale should be a big thing. Maybe it'll be a cool reveal. We'll figure out who the female Titan is. That's what I was thinking. Could be could be neat.
SPEAKER_02So get to that cellar.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, figure out what the hell his dad was up to. Yes. If only. But now he's got he's taken away from the scout, so we don't we didn't even know where Aaron's gonna be. Yeah. So which again they tell us in voiceover. Just like, why don't you spend some time and fucking show us that? But anyway, we'll be back next week.
SPEAKER_03I love you. I love you too.